i popped my frightfest cherry this weekend, and i have to say i wish i hadn't bothered. dont get me wrong, its a great festival and the organisers do a great job, and i enjoyed the few films i did see, but being here on my own was harder than i imagined. too many sounds and smells = sensory overload - standing in the foyer or outside the empire was painful. if i was with a friend i would have had a great time, but being by myself and being unable to talk to anyone made the weekend torture - like having a 5 day long panic attack. i had to go back to te hotel and missed out on some films i wanted to see, and i didn't turn up at all on monday. i only saw half the films i intended to.
i was so stressed that i withdrew into myself completely so i couldn't even talk to the empire staff, which meant no goodie bag, discovery screen tickets or food for the whole weekend.
not whinging about the festival itself, just my own shortcomings. having autism means i spend most of my time pretending to be normal and trying to convince myself that i belong, and this weekend was a painful reminder that im not.
apologies to the blokes who sat next to me over the weekend.
what a fucking waste
Hey mate I was on your right hand side and there's no need for apologies from yourself. Sorry you didn't enjoy it and apologies if I didn't help the situation by trying to convo with you when you were there. I think maybe a seat to the side like you found on Sat and sun would be best for next time and I really hope you come again and at least enjoyed the few films you saw